He said: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said: You wear pants don't you.

He said: since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you badly. She said: Well, you succeeded.

He said: Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said: That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said: Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm? She said: I would but you are never there.

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They don't stop and ask for directions.

How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer.

Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know; it's never happened.

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.

Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They are married.